The Camel’s Back
Updated: Aug 17, 2020
How much can one person take before they break?
9 days. That’s how many days the twins have been sick.
9 days of worry, sleepless nights, wheezing, breathing treatments.
9 days without my wife and struggling to hold it all together.
I have so much anxiety and stress lately. Money, COVID, I’m sick, then the kids are sick, opinionated family members, sliding job performance, Anxiety attacks, Parents potential divorce... and a lot of sadness that I continue to shove down until I’m numb.
I haven’t been to therapy in a month and I feel my PPD OCD resurfacing. Thoughts that I don’t want swirl around in my head.
When does it all end?
Someone once told me, if you want to be happy, just be happy. It’s literally that easy. They obviously don’t understand how my mental health works. I wish it were that simple. I wish I could just turn my brain off, but it's just not that easy.
This is usually the point where I enter an action plan, but the truth is guys. I don't have one.
So, instead i'm going to focus on what I am grateful for in my life. I'm going to try and shift my energy into a much more tangible state. Something more positive.
Hm. I guess I do have a plan after all, haha.
Everything is going to be alright.
Almighty Father in Heaven, uplift my spirits today. Strengthen my heart, Lord, because I feel it breaking. Please, fix what is broken within me. Please, wrap your loving arms around me. I need your strength now more than ever. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
3 John 1:2 Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.