𝚃𝚠𝚘 𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙲𝚑𝚎𝚌𝚔-𝚞𝚙
This post is hard for me to write. I’ve been mulling all these thoughts in my head.. My anxiety is at a 10 and sharing this with all of you leaves me in such a vulnerable state... but I know it’s necessary for us to be open and share our journey entirely in the hopes it helps someone else find their own voice.. or comfort in ours. So, here it’s goes.
Everett had his two year appointment today. The twins are going to start preschool on June 1st and even though my wife, Laura, was furloughed from her job, we decided to still send them and hope that things will work out in the end. The pediatrician is just now reopening, so we are about 3 weeks behind on this appointment and need their vaccinations to be up to date to attend preschool. We’ve known that the boys have been delayed and always chalked that up to twin life and to the mantra “every child is different”.
Well, the doctor believes Everett 𝙞𝙨 different and may have Autism. I have friends with children who have Autism and I have seen the struggle it can cause.
Questions go through my mind “ Did I do something wrong?”, “Was it something that happened from the IVF process”... “Could I have done something different?”. Of course... I will never know the answer and just try to take comfort in the solace of our pediatrician’s reassurances that we did nothing wrong.
So, what do I do now? How do I cope with this? It’s not a firm diagnosis, but just another question mark added to the list of questions marks that make up our life currently. Is this the straw that finally breaks the camel’s back? I can only handle so much before I break.
I just want what any other parent wants. For their child to be healthy, happy and to not have to struggle or be made fun of. I don’t want him to have low self esteem or to be just another statistic. I know I just have to hand It off to God.
If you have a moment, will you pray for Everett and my family?
A PRAYER FOR WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP
Heavenly Father, Guide me and lead me through every trial I face today and every day. Supply me with everything I need to stand tall in the battles of life. Control my mind and strengthen my heart so I can have the confidence to tackle every issue that comes my way. Remove doubt and fill me with self esteem. I declare that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Help me draw my strength from You. I am more than a conqueror. Romans 8:31 says “If You are for me, who can be against me?” Your Word protects me and I am armed with Your favor. Nothing is impossible in the name of Jesus Christ. Victory is near and I pray that the trials I face will bring me closer to You. I won't ever give up. In Jesus name, Amen. www.doesesofgrace.com