Remember when I made that post about starting a new job for the first time since having the babies and how scared I was? Well this is me two months later! Can I just say how wonderful my job and team is?!
When I started this job I was riddled with anxiety... I knew staying at home was making my depression worse, but I was so scared to make the leap and leave the babes. I can honestly say it has helped me tremendously! I have always been a busy bee 🐝 and working has always been my thing. So, when stopped working and suddenly had two newborns I completely lost my identity.
**cue the mom guilt**
And of course I felt SO incredibly guilty that I didn’t instantly connect to the babies and that I missed working. It took a loooong time to get to a point where I didn’t always feel guilty about that. Not everyone just instantly bonds to their children and just picks up on how to be a Stay at home mom. We are all different and that’s okay. I definitely feel the bond more now than I did in the beginning and going back to work was life changing. I am starting to feel more like me again. I‘m starting to practice self care again and I feel my depression went from a 7/8 to a 3.
I think we should discard all the “norms” society has created and just accept ourselves for ourselves. It’s a very freeing thing to do. To stop caring what anyone else thinks or says and just focusing on our own opinions and desires. Its easy for me to say that, but trust me, I know how freaking hard it is to do that. So start with baby steps and small changes. I mean, Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? I think the first step is loving yourself. Second step, trusting yourself, your own judgement and your voice/opinion. And the third step, Not letting anyone else’s opinions, thoughts, expectations, goals or WHATEVER have any power over you.
Its been 34 years and I’m on step one..still. That being said, I also haven’t truly been trying to love myself either. I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong or lacking. So, why don’t we start step one together?
Here‘s my first baby steps:
• Self Talk - Everyday this week I will say this out loud anytime I look in the mirror:
I am beautiful
I am worthy
I love you
Sounds silly, but statistics show that self talk matters. So what do you say? Will you do this with me? I could use a friend.💞
PS Have you thanked an essential worker today? 💓